Friday, January 12, 2007

Growth Industries

Plods strike again!

Lot's of things confuse me. It's easily done. You know the type of conundrums: why is there air? Why do wild bears wee in the forest? How many beans make five? I'm sure you are familiar. OK, some of these are just silly – but some conundrums are quite mystifying.

Let's take blankets for starters. Just ordinary blankets. Most people have one or two about the house. Even if they prefer a duvet, they keep a blanket handy for emergencies; like the mother-in-law arriving for a visit, or being thrown out of the house for staying too long in the pub. Handy things blankets. Especially if one is to hand if you do end up sleeping in the shed.

Where do they come from? Almost anywhere really, shops mostly. Strange there would still be a good market for blankets. Unless they are given to homeless pikeys at Christmas or victims of Pakistani earthquakes, you wouldn't think people buy a lot of blankets in a year. We've got some upstairs that are quite old. Years old, for sure. I can't remember the last time we actually went to the shops and bought a blanket. I suggest that most people are in the same boat.

Just thinking about blankets could do your head in! But, there is one real area for growth in the blanket industry. Perhaps that what keeps them in business.

Figured out where it is? The police. Yep, the Old Bill, the Fuzz, the Cherry Tops, the Plods. They must buy more than a few blankets every year.

Figured out why? Because, whenever someone is arrested or transported to court the coppers provide a blanket to cover the criminal's head and upper body. Why do they do this? Perhaps they get a kick-back from the blanket manufacturers trade organisation.

What are they up to? Beats me.

Since the accused must appear in court (in public) without a blanket over their head, it would make sense for the coppers to mind their own business and get on with their job.

Who at the police station is in charge of blankets? Where do they get them from? How many do they use a year? (Presumably, the police are only able to use a blanket once – to avoid health risks or avoid contamination by other criminals DNA!

Crikey! The Constabulary must go through thousands of the damn things every year!

I'm going to investigate shares in blanket companies. Suggest you do the same.

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