Monday, February 23, 2009

Sports Combine - February 2009

A round up of current issues.

Kansas City Chiefs

With a new coach and GM it's all down to the draft for the Chiefs this season. It is surprising how easy it is to go from 2-14 to 10-6. Hope springs eternal. With a proven, but untried at this level, GM in Scott Pioli and rookie head coach in Todd Haley, the Chiefs enter new territory. An assessment will be made after the draft. Even though it is supposed to be a “thin” year for QB's I expect the Chiefs to take one in the first five rounds; for, without some production and leadership from the QB position KC is going to suffer no matter what else they do. The Chiefs faithful are in for an interesting six months.

England Cricket Tour of the West Indies

You have to be a real optimist to gather much excitement or optimism from the England performances in the WI so far. Strangely marmalised in the First Test, crazily being party to a two over test match at the Viv Richards Stadium, and then missing a golden opportunity to square the series at the ACG does not fill one with a large cup of optimism coffee sweetened with sun-kissed horizons.

It's a mess. A big mess.

The ECB have really got to hold up their hand and admit that they have made some immaculate, spectacular boners in the last few months.

First, Sir Alan Stanford is probably going to jail for fraud. The ECB idiots has only recently pledged (or mortgaged if you prefer) the future of English cricket to this wide boy whose only claim to fame so far has been being photographed groping the English WAGS.

Now Freddie Flintoff has succumbed to yet another injury with the Ashes on the horizon. Yet the ECB have sanctioned releasing the contracted players so they can cash in on the mega-bucks of the IPL.

Nasser Hussein and Mike Atherton (both ex-England captains) consider this madness. The ECB should have had the guts to tell the contracted players they can either forego the wonga of the England contact, or they can go to India and take the risk of losing their guaranteed income.

Perhaps the ECB now stands for Elastically Contracting Balls?

Our only hope: the Aussies seem to be having some uncharacteristically English-like problems of their own.


As the Canaries slip deeper and deeper into Relegation Quagmire (that's on the A11, just south of the Thickthorn Roundabout) and contemplate life in what would be the old Division Three, there is only one positive sign on the horizon. St Delia and Dippy Doncaster may be about to take a big bite from the We've Run Out of Ideas Since Our Last Ditch Plan to Smokescreen the Fans (and save loads of money) With the Brian Gunn Appointment Burger and run up the surrender flag.

The further NCFC fall the louder the clamour for the board to shoulder most of the blame will be. Gunny is a Norwich City legend. Delia ain't. Unless they win two of the next three games, expect the clamour to reach a howl – and a shrill one at that.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Name Theory

Up the Chavs!

My theory of names reflecting that those unfortunates who are saddled at infancy with a moniker which ensures - in a self-fulfilling prophesy kind of way – that they will be blighted in later life has gained credence through the efforts of Alastair McLean, boss of upmarket travel company, Activities Abroad.

In a letter to customers, he delivered a non-PC attack on the residents of, among many other towns, Dewsbury, West Yorkshire.

He asserts that the following people will not be found on one of his company's holidays: Dazza, Britney, Chardonnay, Shannon (shades of Dewsbury!), Candice and others of that ilk.

Apparently, only Johns, Henrys and Annes will be your companions if you choose his travel company.

He was immediately in hot water with the PC brigade.

It is the curse of the prophet to remain unknown in his own country.

What we need is research. For example, in those areas where the 11 plus exam is still in use for gaining entrance to grammar school it should be possible to test my theory. All we need to do is find out the statistical breakdown of all Christian names of the pupils who take the 11 plus in a given year. Then compare the successful pupils with the percentage of Chav names in the population as a whole.

Ok – it's a start.

I'm convinced I'm right. Name you child Antwan or Chablis and you are sentencing them to a life time in a shell suit. Go on, prove me wrong.