Friday, May 19, 2017

UK General Election

Maggie All Over Again

My usual plan to have a summer break from blogging in favour of umpiring cricket has been scuppered by Teresa (Megalomaniac) May's plan to take over the world – or at least her little part of it.

Not only is a week a long time in politics, it can also seem interminable if you are trying to keep pace with some astounding developments. May's plan to put the Labour Party out to pasture (and perhaps out if its misery as well) came as a bit of a surprise, but it did reveal the kind of ruthless streak reminiscent of Maggie herself (Ding Dong!)

Meanwhile, Donald (Megalomaniac) Trump is well past the 100 day mark and is showing no sign of being, or even acting, like a President of the United States. His high-point so far was probably holding Saint Teresa's hand – obstensively to steady her – but who can tell with him what he was really up to? Mr Macron started a political party and won the French Presidency. Fat Frau Merkle looks like winning again in the autumn German elections. Madam LePen has gone back to being a Madam. Nigel Farage has disappeared, along with the rest of UKIP. So, it's not a surprise that May may get a big win, provided all the UKIPPERS faithfully troop the polls and return to the Tories in droves.

Why not call an election? In the end the temptation was just too great. A thumping majority is on the cards and few politicians could resist that kind of temptation.

(Remember Maggie more or less engineered the Falklands War to turn around a large deficit on the polls in 1984)

The odd thing here is that when folks are asked about policies they quite like the Labour ideas. When asked about leadership they fall grovelling at the feet of Teresa. When asked about Tim Farron (Lib Dems) they just shrug their shoulders and say, “Tim who”? The Scots are revolting and Ms Sturgeon is blowing the bagpipes as heartily as ever, but they will probably lose a few seats to the Tories.

Meanwhile the Brexit negotiations loom large in the background and Teresa's plea for a big majority to show those Europ-wallahs what's what plays nicely into the the hands of the Little Englanders, Oicks, Shitkickers, Numpties and Chavs who voted to leave.

In that respect, the election is a side-show. The Brexit negotiations are really the only game in town and the voters seem more than slightly averse to letting Jeremy and his team anywhere near them. In that respect the voters are probably correct. It will be up to Jeremy's successor after five more years of Tory twaddle to try to clear up the mess.

Is there any hope?

Not a lot. Perhaps Teresa will be filmed at Tory spanking session? Perhaps most voters will think it's all over and go to the pub instead. Even on a low turn out she still wins but maybe by not enough to silence the real assholes – David Davies, Bonking Boris (so late a convert to Brexit that even he didn't know he was in favour) Liam Fox, John Redwood (perhaps the most detestable man in politics except for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel (perhaps the most mis-named politician of her generation) and the other Teresa (who is even odder-looking) Villiers.

I loved the bit where some ding-dong put a large bet on Labour to win (at quite generous odds for a two-horse race). The bookies seldom get it wrong and they like the Tories, and they like them more than just a bit – they like them a lot.