Friday, December 08, 2006

Dummy Doncaster

How Stupid Can You Get??

Before I explain just how stupid Neil Doncaster is and what a dissembler he has become, check out my fantastic football quiz at

Writing in our favourite paper on Thursday, our Neil attempts to quell the supporters anger at his lack of insight and ability by explaining why NCFC are not able to sign good players. He explains, as if we are all a little bit thick, that if a player is worth £15 000 a week in the market and Norwich are only offering £8 000 a week, it is plainly irrelevant how smashing a club NCFC is or what a great place Norfolk is to live – the player will go where he can get the most money. Gosh! I never thought of that!

He goes on to explain that despite the fact that Norwich are the best supported club in the Championship they will have no money to spend on luxuries – like good players. He “explains” to supporters that the club has a number of assets: “a number of talented and much sought after players” (how he squares that circle with his view that it is impossible to attract good players to the club beggars the belief!!!); development land (again he fails to mention that it was Bob Chase who had the foresight to get the land in the first place – and he refuses to explain exactly how much the land is worth??); “a 30% stake in the hotel joint venture” (sorry? I thought this was a football club – not a property company – wake up supporters and smell the roses!! The board is full of Delia's property developer buddies!); and, finally, the club is sold out of season tickets (as long as the Norfolk Dumplings who support the club remain as thick as they are – there is no need to change!!!).

He does admit that the loyalty of the supporters is a big advantage over clubs whose support seems to wax and wane. He thinks that the future is “far from doom and gloom”. Just when I was beginning to warm to him, he reverts to his “bean-counter” roots when he says, “Our debt is high . . . . “. Rubbish! For any enterprise the size of NCFC and with the assets and cash flow it generates, the club's debt is too low – not too high.

The real asset of the club is its ability to get to the promised land of the Premiership. Last time we were there we were told it was worth £25 million pounds. Where did all that money go? Come on, Neil – you'll have to do better than peddling the same old squit every day! You just can't fool all of the people all of the time!

Time's up.

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