Definition: milch cow - noun - something or someone that is seen as a source of easy income or profit.
Definition: money laundering - refers to the conversion or "Laundering" of money which is illegally obtained, so as to make it appear to originate from a legitimate source.
Put these two definitions together and you have the Premiership.
The Times says:
Frauds, thieves, tax dodgers and forgers aren’t welcome here
We answer the key questions relating to the 'Fit and Proper Test' that Thaksin will have to pass before taking charge at Manchester City
The key point in the resume of the Fit and Proper Persons test is (not surprisingly) at the end – where it says:
Has anyone failed the Fit and Proper Persons Test yet?
So, it's all window dressing? Pretty much – in my view.
Disregarding Roman Abramovich and other big-time Russian crooks, the very dodgy Glaser family who now own (with a hefty mortgage) Manchester United and an assortment of Icelandic wide-boys and an Egyptian conspiracy theorist – what cannot be in doubt is the opportunity for money corruption in football.
Here's a plan, some bean counter says, take the money you have, go to England and buy a football club; the government will welcome you with open arms. No-one will question where the money came from, no-one will ask about dodgy-finance – as long as you appear to be a milch cow to the idiots who inhabit the terraces and you make a few (perfectly legal) contributions to political parties – you should have no problems. And, you will be welcome to stay in England as long as you like. And you can effectively launder your money – if needed – under the relatively free guise of becoming a patron of a football team. Bottom line – this is a win-win situation.
What about the Premier League? Spokesman, Dan Johnson, told BBC Radio Five Live, “We have a fit and proper person test which is based on objective criteria, there is a schedule of offences which does also reflect any offences that someone has been prosecuted for overseas as well. It is a tricky one because he hasn't been prosecuted for anything yet, and also we are a football competition.”
Translation: as long as you have not been prosecuted for wrong-doing – it's none of our business and we will do nothing.
What would happen if he was found guilty of the charges he is facing? Dan says, “That is something we would have to look at.”
Nice one, Dan. In other words, even if Mr Shinawatra is found guilty in a Thai court of wrong-doing the Premier League may decide that this does not disqualify him from owning a team. After all, I can hear them say, what sort of court is a Thai court? Can't trust those Wogs anyway! This guy is bringing in lots of money – who cares where he got it!
Somebody should. And, someone should require that all Premiership clubs are PLC's with on-one allowed to own more than 10% of the shares. Simple. No need for checks that aren't checks on Asian criminals.
Works for me.