Thursday, May 25, 2006

Metatarsals, Club v. Country and Central Contracts

Since every time you turn on the television all you can watch is an up-date on the injured metatarsal of Mr Wayne (The Chief Chav) Rooney, I suppose I am entitled to comment on the goings-on at Team England.

No-one, of course, will pay any attention to common sense. After all, we're talking about football.

Notwithstanding the fact that we have yet to hear the medical update, the Press have already lined up Mr Alec Ferguson (Scots football manager and, presumably, Scots football supporter) as the chief villain in this saga. Mr Rooney (All ears, no brain) has today been seen by the doctor, but we are not to be privy to what the state of his foot is until he sees his club doctor and then the club doctor will let the England team doctor and management know the outcome of the scan. Sounds a convoluted sentence? So is the process!

A Godsend for the press, of course. They can ignore the real issues and concentrate on a bit of Scots bashing instead. Good-O!

The facts are: Manchester United (Northern team that has more "supporters" per head of population in Devon than in Manchester) pay Mr Rooney's wages and, therefore, are not all that keen to have his career jeopardised by an early return to the rigours of international World Cup football; nor are they disposed to let the England medical staff make the ultimate decision as to whether or not his is fit to play. Right-O! Since they pay his exorbitant wages - what do you expect!

Cricket used to have the same problems. Star players would get injured playing for their Counties and then be unavailable for England. Solution: central contracts. Rugby: same-o, same-o.

Of course, football being what it is - a non-nonsensical game played by idiots and watched by morons, no-one will take this proposal seriously. After all, just because it works well in other sports and was instrumental in enabling England to win the rugby World Cup and the Ashes, it would never work in football. One thing is for sure. It is unlikely to be tried.

Unless, as is most likely, England fail to get out of the Group stage because (as the fans may perceive) Roon the Toon is not fit to play. Perhaps the calls for success might drown out the pea-brains from the FA. Not to mention the Nimfy's (not in my football yard) who may, after this humiliation, be persuaded to see sense.

We live in hope.

Personally, I hope the little fat man plays so that we don't have to suffer four years of "if only Rooney had been fit, we would have won" nonsense.

No comments: