Cricket Umpiring

No balls and Wides

“It ain't that people are ignorant that causes so much trouble; it's just that they know so damned much that just ain't true. - Josh Billings

Applying this to cricket in general and umpiring specifically, proves that many a true word is spoken in jest!

Each Saturday in the LFNCL we have a variety of people umpiring matches. All have different cricketing experiences and (hopefully) some knowledge of the Laws. Some are playing in the match, some are local volunteers. Some are dragooned in to it, some enjoy it, some see it as a necessary evil to be endured. Not surprisingly we sometimes wonder at some of the decisions given.

Two anecdotes from last season may illustrate this. Firstly concerning Law 42.6 Dangerous and Unfair Bowling - Subsection (b) (i) and (ii).

A local cricketer told me about a game he was playing in. The bowler came in to bowl. It was a full toss. It passed the striker above waist height and hit the top of middle stump. (I have seen this before, no matter how unlikely it sounds!)

The umpire at the non-striker's end called a no-ball under Law 42. The game continued - but after the game and in the pub, the players were discussing the situation, because they genuinely were not sure if the correct decision had been reached.

I asked if the bowler was a slow bowler. Under Law 42 the ball must pass the striker over shoulder height if the bowler is a slow one - not over waist high. It was a slow bowler he informed me. Was the decision correct? Not as the situation was described. The batsman should have been given out. This looks like a case of just not knowing the Law.

Those of us who have played and umpired for a long time will remember when the no ball call was made by the square-leg umpire. Not now. It's the umpire at the non-striker's end who makes the call, but wise umpires will look at square leg for an indication of the height of the delivery from their colleague. If the square leg umpire had been consulted in the above case perhaps a better decision might have been reached.

Case two – whilst umpiring a LFNCL match I was behind the stumps at the non-striker's end. The bowler, who happened to be a slow bowler, bowled a legal delivery (not a no ball) but it was very wide of the striker's off stump. The striker moved out to meet the ball. He did not attempt a shot but let the ball pass the stumps where it was taken by the wicket keeper. He then stood staring at me in a perplexed manner. When a run was taken and he found himself at my end he said something like, “Surely that must have been a wide?”

I tried to explain the Law to him, but he was in no mood to listen. Eventually, and after an exchange of emails on the subject, he informed me that the delivery in question would have been called a wide on 90% of Norfolk grounds. I responded that in that case we are in big trouble.

Law 25 Wide Ball 2. Delivery Not a Wide – The umpire shall not adjudge a delivery as being a wide (a) if the striker by moving, either (i) causes the ball to pass wide of him . . . or (ii) brings the ball sufficiently within his reach to be able to hit it by means of a normal cricket stroke.

This is one of the Laws that does make sense! For example, in my scenario above, suppose the batsman had attempted to hit the ball, got an edge and skied it to extra cover? He's out, of course. A ball cannot be a wide if you hit it!

Now, stop and think. Have you ever seen a professional cricketer chase a wide one? Probably not as the risks far outweigh the possible advantages. You cannot get two bites of the same cherry. If you chase the wide one and hit it, you can either score runs or get out. Is the risk worth the possible reward? Your choice, but having made the choice you cannot expect the umpire to ignore the Law and call a wide if you move and bring the ball into play.

Notice that I left out Law 25 1. Judging a Wide. Judging a wide is subjective. When umpires are appointed, it's possible to believe that consistency will be the watch-word. When players are doubling as umpires consistency is a probably a forlorn hope. Get on with the game!

Thinking Outside the Box

England's World Cup disaster.

England's recent showing in the World Cup deserves some comment.

First, to make the quarter-finals was probably a good showing. What was disappointing was the way they were embarrassed by Sri Lanka when they got there.

The loonies who thought up the winter schedule for the England cricket team should be organising the bombing of Libya – Gadaffi would be in power forever. Asking the players to perform at the end of an endless round of important matches was just a non-starter; therefore, any criticism must be tempered by realism. They really were expected to go a bridge too far.

Then we have the injuries to key players. Pietersen is a key player, regardless of my opinion that he is greatly over-rated. Stuart Broad is a genuine key player and his injuries smack of “burn out” - much to the detriment of the England set-up for many years to come. Simon Jones syndrome springs to mind. Poor old Paul Collingwood has just had it – though why England chose to jettison

him in the later stages when all the injuries hit is hard to figure. Add Ajmal Shahzad to the list and you have a packet of injury owes – enough to fill a Land Rover.

Still, divorcing the early winter triumphs in Australia and at the 20-20 World Cup, England have under-performed on the Sub-continent. Why? It's too easy to blame the injuries or the scheduling.

Facts are they just weren't good enough.

This the supporters can accept. What I found difficult to accept was the crazy hype-spice added to the mix my the Sky Sports commentators and pundits.

Just take the quarter final against Sri Lanka for an example. Foolish though I was, I listened to England crawl to what I thought was a poor score, only for the commentators to explain that it was probably quite competitive. How did they work this out? They assured us that the dew would affect the ball, the pitch would get painfully slow and the England spinners would turn the ball a mile.

What tosh!

The Sri Lankan batsmen stroked the ball about with aplomb and the England bowling would not have looked out of place in a Sunday Friendly. Swann, who is supposed to be one of the best bowlers in the world, was ordinary in the extreme. The pace bowlers were innocuous. The fielding was amateurish.

To be fair, Sri Lanka have done the same to New Zealand – just not quite so comprehensively.

What was so disappointing was the lack of ideas in the England v. Sri Lanka match. I just can't relate to the way they played – seemingly without any idea of how to win the match.

So, what lessons are to be learned?

First: don't expect England or any non-Asian side to do well in the sub-continent.

Second: don't burden the players with a schedule that is simply impossible.

Third: let's have realistic expectations particularly from the so-called expert commentators.

England will be back with a chance when the tournament is either in England, Australia or New Zealand.

In the News

From Manchester to Barbados to Arrowhead

Down at Arrowhead the troops arrived to begin OTA's (organised team activities). For those not in the know, the difference between OTA's and training camp is only on the calendar. Although OTA's are officially voluntary, almost everyone turns up in some form or another. The Chief's rookies because they have to convince the coaches they are worth a spot on the roster and the veterans because they have to convince the coaches they are worth a spot on the roster. Simple!

Meanwhile, before football takes over completely, the round-ball experts from Manchester United will be visiting the re-vamped stadium to play the KC Wizards on 25 July. Tickets are from 10 bucks to 200. I suspect the paying public of KC don't realise that in a World Cup year it is very unlikely MU will bring anything like a full squad. In particular, the England World Cup players will be on holiday, no matter how well they do in South Africa. Still, it is a chance to show the KC public what they are missing. Answer? Not a lot.

Back at Arrowhead there are some interesting battles looming for starting positions. In the DB's it seems very unlikely that Number One pick Eric Berry will not get one of the starting safety spots – barring injury of course. You don't draft a top player to sit him on the bench and play special teams. There will be pressure on the others to step up and secure one of the other three starting spots. Suddenly the Chiefs looks solid at this ultra-important position!

Down at my target position, wide receiver, Dexter McCluster seems destined to be a big-time player – or a complete flop. I expect the KC sports writers are drooling over the prospect that he is another Reggie Bush. If he is then it's happy days! Remember, he's a rookie. The running backs look good and solid. With Colin Brown returning from injury there should be real competition in the O-line.

So, where are the problems? Line-backers. Chiefs have too many and they are not all well-versed in the 3-4. Noises are being made to shift Glen Dorsey to nose-tackle. I'm against it. Actually, I'm not a great Dorsey fan full stop. I expect the Chiefs to keep close tabs on any line-backers, well-versed in the 3-4, who may become available – either as un-drafted or released rookies or available veterans.

Also, believe it or not, at QB. This is the year Todd Haley and Co. must see some improvement from Matt Cassel. They passed up on some promising QB's coming out of college. They have banked on Cassel doing his bit. Given a better offensive line and some receivers who can catch the ball and run with it and an improved running game – it's going to be hard to pin losses anywhere else. It's pay-back time for Matt – or it's Adios!

Finally, England finally won a one-day trophy and smashed the Aussies in the process! Looks like the umpires (chiefly that clown Doctrove) got some things wrong to the detriment of Australia, but that's the breaks. England's decision to bowl first was inspired. The old adage that first you think about batting first, then you think again, then you bat clearly didn't apply this time. By putting the Aussie openers under pressure, England were always in the driving seat. It's always good to win, but lets not get carried away. 20-20 is not really cricket as we know it. But, it's always good to win. Can England use Kieswetter and Eoin Morgan in a “real” game? Why not? Time will tell.

It's Enough to make you cry!!

Sometimes it is hard to take football seriously.

Today is one of those sometimes. Thierry Henry is in sore danger of a brouhaha moment which will, no doubt, not endear him to the Paddys! What a farce!

What's really surprising is the number of well-respected commentators jumping on the bandwagon. Wow! They finally realised that football is a silly game populated by real Neanderthals (both on the pitch and in the stands) as opposed to the the Turnip Taliban! I'm genuinely amazed.

First we have that respected commentator Hugh McIlvanney informing us that “Video refs can catch the cheats”. Excuse me, Hugh, where have you been for the last umpteen years? Are you seriously telling your readers that you only just noticed that football is populated by cheaters and that the administrators have done nothing about it since time began? Pull the one with the bells on!

Do you not remember the Maradona “Hand of God”? How long ago was that? Was anything ever done? Wake up!!

Instead of vilifying Henry, who is, after all, only doing what anyone would do if they knew they were not likely to get caught; Hugh might reserve his righteous ire for the game itself. To be fair, he does touch on this, but, as usual, chickens out at the crucial moment.

In a long article, he reserves his opprobrium for the administrators, chiefly Sepp Blatter of FIFA. Come on Hugh! Easy target! Some of this is, surely, down to the Fourth Estate! You guys are not Babes in the Wood!

Facts are that football is a rotten game which is designed to encourage the basest instincts in the human character. Hugh is hinting at this, but he is not willing to condemn sufficiently.

Same day, same paper – we have a stab at it from Dominic Lawson on the Editorial page. His article, “A game of two halves: cheating and whining” reads better than the lily-livered Hugh. He goes though the whole gamut of footballing sins. He is particularly aghast at the Irish howls of derision, when, as he skilfully points out, Ireland's Roy Keane attempted to cheat twice in the same game, only to be foiled because the ref happened to be looking. He quotes Damian Duff – Irish striker - “If it was me or Robbie at the other end, we would have tried it. You just expect the referee or linesman to see it.”

How sad it is that on the day even the match commentators did not see the hand ball until the replay! Dominic's point that no-one has ever seen a referee change his mind is the key. Since the poor old ref made a boo-boo, he will be pilloried. Meanwhile, the idiots who run the game will cry crocodile tears and strike him from their list of possible World Cup referees (and their Christmas card list!!).

Contrasting rugby and cricket with their reliance on technology (Hugh, are you listening!!) only leads Dominic deeper into despair. His conclusion that football attracts a particular type of person, a yob, just about sums it up.

I love his last sentence: “Does anyone know why it is still called “”the beautiful game””? That has to be the biggest joke of all.”

Amen.

Six of the Best

Time to go to bat for the away team.

Every bus/train/pub conversation will inevitably turn to the credit crunch and listening to the “we're doomed” brigade launch into a “bring back Maggie Thatcher chant”can be irksome and tiresome; so, it's time to promulgate the six best things about the UK and see if anyone agrees.

Number One

The Sunday Times – don't forget - despite the profligate number of Red Tops which are not actually newspapers at all, Britain still boasts some quality newspapers and a readership that is second to none – The Sun, The Mail and The Mirror are all in the top 13 selling daily newspapers in the world. Most of the really big sellers, of course, are from China, India and Japan.

The Sunday Times makes my Sunday. Any description of a perfect Sunday starts with reading the paper. The roast beef comes much later.

Number Two

The NHS. President Obama had health care reform as part of his electoral appeal and it worked. Unfortunately, the prospect of him persuading Congress to come up with anything like an NHS is very remote. Why? The vested interests in the United States just will not give up the milch cow that is the present system.

By contrast, Britain's NHS is the envy of the world – or most of it at least. It is far from perfect, but it does work. And it is genuinely free at the point of need.

People in Britain take it for granted and every paper has at least one story of an NHS failure on a daily basis; but it is so much better than any alternative; it would be easier to get the turkeys to vote for more Christmases than it would be to devise a better plan to cover a nation's health care needs than the NHS.

Number Three

The BBC. I never watch ITV – perhaps that's why they are losing money and advertisers faster than a man going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. I would watch ITV if there were any programmes worth watching, but since there aren't and we all pay for the BBC through the license fee anyway – why bother? ITV is full of soaps and naff game shows. I never watch it.

Number Four

Liverpool Street Station. Not the present station, the old one – before they tarted it up and added the glitzy shops and the arcades full of designer sunglasses. It was smoke encrusted. It was dingy. It was dirty. It was uncomfortable. In short, it was everything that represented the best of old England. Now it's gone – sold out to the bean counters and the advertisers. Shame.

Number Five

Stratford-on-Avon. I know it' daft, but I get a thrill visiting Stratford. It's almost all modern stores and houses by the bits that are “preserved” make it worthwhile. If you can't get excited visiting Holy Trinity and the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust – then you are probably immune to nostalgia and reverence for the Bard. More fool you.

Number Six

Trent Bridge. There must be nothing like a Test Match at Lords – though I have never been and I like the Oval – especially on a really hot day when you can drink a hogshead of beer and sweat it out so fast that you don't get drunk, but Trent Bridge is my “home” ground (that is to say the nearest one to Norwich with good rail communications). It really is a great place to watch cricket. The crowd are rowdy but very good natured and they don't take the cricket too seriously. Sitting in the New Stand and gazing at the old pavilion is a joy. Visiting the Trent Bridge Inn is a glory. And, you can get the train home. Magic.

Sports Combine - February 2009

A round up of current issues.

Kansas City Chiefs

With a new coach and GM it's all down to the draft for the Chiefs this season. It is surprising how easy it is to go from 2-14 to 10-6. Hope springs eternal. With a proven, but untried at this level, GM in Scott Pioli and rookie head coach in Todd Haley, the Chiefs enter new territory. An assessment will be made after the draft. Even though it is supposed to be a “thin” year for QB's I expect the Chiefs to take one in the first five rounds; for, without some production and leadership from the QB position KC is going to suffer no matter what else they do. The Chiefs faithful are in for an interesting six months.

England Cricket Tour of the West Indies

You have to be a real optimist to gather much excitement or optimism from the England performances in the WI so far. Strangely marmalised in the First Test, crazily being party to a two over test match at the Viv Richards Stadium, and then missing a golden opportunity to square the series at the ACG does not fill one with a large cup of optimism coffee sweetened with sun-kissed horizons.

It's a mess. A big mess.

The ECB have really got to hold up their hand and admit that they have made some immaculate, spectacular boners in the last few months.

First, Sir Alan Stanford is probably going to jail for fraud. The ECB idiots has only recently pledged (or mortgaged if you prefer) the future of English cricket to this wide boy whose only claim to fame so far has been being photographed groping the English WAGS.

Now Freddie Flintoff has succumbed to yet another injury with the Ashes on the horizon. Yet the ECB have sanctioned releasing the contracted players so they can cash in on the mega-bucks of the IPL.

Nasser Hussein and Mike Atherton (both ex-England captains) consider this madness. The ECB should have had the guts to tell the contracted players they can either forego the wonga of the England contact, or they can go to India and take the risk of losing their guaranteed income.

Perhaps the ECB now stands for Elastically Contracting Balls?

Our only hope: the Aussies seem to be having some uncharacteristically English-like problems of their own.

NCFC

As the Canaries slip deeper and deeper into Relegation Quagmire (that's on the A11, just south of the Thickthorn Roundabout) and contemplate life in what would be the old Division Three, there is only one positive sign on the horizon. St Delia and Dippy Doncaster may be about to take a big bite from the We've Run Out of Ideas Since Our Last Ditch Plan to Smokescreen the Fans (and save loads of money) With the Brian Gunn Appointment Burger and run up the surrender flag.

The further NCFC fall the louder the clamour for the board to shoulder most of the blame will be. Gunny is a Norwich City legend. Delia ain't. Unless they win two of the next three games, expect the clamour to reach a howl – and a shrill one at that.

What Passing Bells?

Armageddon?

Summer has just about had it. So far: in August vandals dug up our cricket square – no not just the pitch ala' Headingly – but the whole square; Big Tone has departed to be Middle East Peace Envoy – ok stop laughing right now; Gordo had taken over the Labour leadership and is trouncing Cammo in the polls; Ol' Dubbya has declared that we are winning in Iraq, for the umpteenth time; Norwich City have signed a bunch of nobodys, 25 jocks and a motley collection of journeymen professionals whilst professing to be ambitious – so what's new? And the England Rugby team are off to Frogland to defend the World Cup, with little prospect of getting anywhere near it. It's all depressingly familiar.

Apparently there was some aggro at a cricket match at Southtown one Sunday. We weren't playing, but the report is that Southtown were involved in an altercation with some local yobbos who were riding their mini motorbikes around the outfield whist the game was in progress. That's what I heard. Whether this is true or germane, I've no idea. So, on a Sunday night person or persons unknown dug large holes in across the whole square. First I heard, council called Monday morning to tell me we wouldn't be playing there for the rest of the season. I had a look on the Wednesday and it was horrific! If you've a strong stomach, check out: http://www.beltoncricket.co.uk/devastation.html

Good news is the council managed to repair the damage (mostly) and we had a game there at the beginning of September.

People are beginning to wonder if Big Tone was just a figment of their imagination. Since he has been appointed Middle East Peace Envoy (I said stop laughing and don't mention Satan and St Joan either!) he seems to have disappeared. Am I the only one thinking he is trousering a large wad for doing nothing so he can support the family whilst he writes his very lucrative memoirs?

Gordo takes over. He has variously been described as cheerless, morose, bloody-minded, dictatorial and with all the charm of a mud skipper. His opponent, Cammo, is young, good-looking and full of new ideas. Result: the voters prefer Gordo. It's a funny old world.

Dubbya just gets worse and worse. There is no other way to say this. It's a good thing you can't be impeached for being an incompetent moron. Otherwise, he'd be on the first plane to Texas (home of steers and queers!). Where Dubbya fits into this well-know Texan epithet, you guess.

NCFC are beginning to really annoy me now. Not content with incessant bitching at the unholy unfairness of it all when their best players depart to Premiership pastures new and feeding the Norfolk numpties endless pap about how prudent the club is – they now are already tossing out plausible excuses for failure in anticipation of a terrible season. Today's EDP has a banner story about an African player (discarded by that powerhouse of international football, FC Lucerne, who is (apparently) having trial at Norwich. Someone is having a laugh!

Only the England Rugby team think they have a chance of defending the World Cup. This may be no bad thing. Maybe the good teams will take their eye off the ball, literally as well as metaphorically and they could sneak it. Personally I wouldn't be surprised if they slip up in the opener against the USA Eagles (Go Eagles !!) By the way, the Sunday Times eventually recognised that the USA has an almost endless untapped pool of rugby players in the vast majority of college football players who never make the pros. Some day this pool will be recruited. Watch out All Blacks, you head it here first!

Headingley

Test Cricket

England go into the second test against West Indies still smarting from the draw at Lords. At least they should be.

Given all the advantages in the match: a big first innings score; four centurions; helpful conditions for the bowlers; England should have easily wrapped up a win in three days. Instead, the Windies did an excellent job of derailing the England pace attack – so much so that it was Monty Panesar who looked most likely to swing the game England's way.

There is a lot of nonsense in the press about how “unlucky” England were not to have bagged an early series win. The fact is: the bowlers were not really up to scratch.

Bowlers win test matches. Batsmen get all the headlines, but bowlers win test matches. The opposition must be dismissed twice and England never looked capable of doing that. Of course, they were unfortunate to have lost Matthew Hoggard. Bowling with one short is no fun and can be a nightmare. Even though he found it difficult to get the ball to swing from the right areas, Hoggy's loss was a real blow; for it simply heaped more pressure on an already fragile Steve Harmison.

Steve faces problems that eclipse those of “fragile” cricketers from a bygone age. He is constantly in the media spotlight. The first bad ball he bowls is analysed minutely from a physical and mental standpoint. He is branded by the media as a “bit flaky in the head” and therefore all his problems are immediately brought into focus by the lens of the TV camera. This is unfair and probably untrue. Fact is he had an exceptional year in the Ashes win and has struggled to repeat that form. Whether or not he can become again a match-winner is problematical. He needs help from the other bowlers.

Flintoff is out. No help there.

Plunkett shows promise, sometimes. He is unlikely to win you a match, even at Headingly. Collingwood is really a batsman, and I question whether or not he's good enough at that!

So, some bowler or bowlers will have to be drafted in. Who? Nobody immediately springs to mind. Mahmood has been tried – perhaps he'll get another go. Sidebottom has been drafted into the thirteen – plenty of Headingly experience. Whoever is chosen they are unlikely to put the fear of God into the Windies batsmen.

And so, with the strength of England's batting and the West Indies reluctance to gamble by playing an extra bowler, best bet is another draw. What! At Headingley? Yep. That's my tip for the day. With some dodgy weather forecast for the weekend, I'd get down to Ladbrookes and get money on a tame draw. Or, I'd wait to see the result of the toss. England win the toss and bowl, possibly bet on England. Windies bowl, bet on draw. Looks that simple.

Last word to the West Indies press:

“The West Indies batsmen, as much as they may be willing to fight again, should find England's bowling too good for them at Headingley.” - Jamaica Gleaner

World Cup Woes

Surrender Anyone?

Cricket fans are a forgiving lot. Most are realists when it come to England's chances in the World Cup. Discounting the media-hype which surrounds almost all international sport now-a-days, knowledgeable fans will realise that the team is just not very good, or, perhaps just not good enough.

Nevertheless, it is important if any progress is to be made to understand why and where improvements need to be made. England have more professional cricketers than any other nation. This can be a blessing. It can also be a liability when selecting teams.

The fact is England seems to be the only country who picks a specialist one-day squad and ignores the Test team. Yesterday's defeat to Sri Lanka abjectly illustrates this policy.

All morning the news was afloat with rumours that Andrew Strauss would be recalled to the team as opener. Ed Joyce had failed and failed again. Strauss is a proven Test opener who “suffered” some very bad umpiring decisions and some “unlucky” dismissals in the one-day series against Australia. Joyce was his replacement and had only amassed a few decent scores. Pretty much a no-brainer there. Strauss to be recalled – Joyce to be dismissed. What happened? Nothing. Whoever was spreading the Strauss recall rumours ( maybe it was his Mum? ) shut up. Joyce played. Scored a few. Got out.

His opening partner, Michael Vaughan, faired little better. Cricketers and commentators all agree that when you are caught down the leg side you are a bit unlucky – particularly with the keeper standing up to a medium-pacer. Unlucky or not that's exactly what happened to Vaughan and his run of very low scores continued. Result? England on the back foot. Vaughan provides his own conundrum. Captaining the side expertly he engineered a gettable Sri Lankan total to chase. His own contribution to the cause was woeful. Unlucky or not.

Ian Bell flatters to deceive. The photo of him standing with his bat well-behind the popping crease and neatly poised a few centimetres above it should be pasted on every school notice board. Watching him bat is like watching a disaster unfolding. He may get a score – but it's not likely. When all that was need was for one top-order batsman to survive most of the innings and get 80 or 90 – he failed again.

Kevin Petersen is supposed to be the number one one-day batsman in the world. Crazy. He does score large hundreds, but mostly when they are not needed. Pressure? Don't think he handles it well. Murali slipped him the doosra, and Petersen lobbed it back to him. I don't like cricketers who behave like footballers. When they make a mistake or choose the wrong shot they should accept it. Petersen nearly cries. Or mutters an obscenity under his breath. Completely unacceptable. He's beginning to look like a prima dona – without the requisite talent and temperament.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Collingwood is a good county pro. He is neither a Test batsman nor a one-day specialist. If he's the best number five we have in England then it will be a long time before there is any improvement in results.

Flintoff hasn't recovered from the pedalo yips. I remember when he was a batting all-rounder who bowled a bit. Now he bowls but has forgotten the basics of one-day batting. He should be sentenced to watch his dismissal over and over and over. Attempting to slog a slower ball with two runs to your name and your team relying on you to salvage the match makes Freddie look just about as stupid as you can on a cricket pitch.

So it was left to Bopara and Nixon to get England close to the total. I was beginning to wonder what Bopara was doing in the side? I thought he would be bowling – but Collingwood does all that ( fairly ineffectually! ) and he never got a chance. At least he was up for the fight. If he is to make an impact next time around he needs to be bowling and batting. Time will tell if he's good enough.

Nixon will not be around long. He's too old and it that respect it is churlish to begrudge him a few days in the lime light. He did very well, but England should be playing a younger, more long-term keeper. If he was Duncan Fletcher's choice, then Dunc should follow him into honourable retirement.

It's possible that events may overtake my gloomy forecast. I hope so, but I doubt it. After the Aussies hammer us on Sunday, it should just be a matter of a few days before the lads come home.

Some joined-up thinking by the selectors and administrators in time for the next World Cup might not go amiss.

Being Freddy

Being The Fredster Just Got Tougher!

News from the Caribbean is just about all bad. In the wake of the England cricketers' romps in the sea and visits to local bars comes the report of the tragic death of Bob Woolmer. Whereas one event is laughable, the other puts into perspective the role of sport in modern society. Freddie may just be an idiot, but Bob is dead.

Reading the papers, and between the lines, it now appears that Freddie has always been a bit of a bad boy. He has been “spoken to” by the England management on numerous occasions. He has received many “warnings” about his behaviour – and has chosen to ignore them.

It's hard to feel any sympathy for him. As a talented and highly-paid sports star, he really ought to know better. When he reflects on how “demon rum” ruined the careers and lives of Gazza and George Best, he really ought to take stock of the situation and moderate his imbibing. And, I bet Rachel isn't all that pleased with him either.

By the way, where are the Wags?

Little has been seen or heard of the cricket Wags this tour. Maybe they are at home. If so, this is a mistake. Presumably, Freddie might have been in the hotel with the wife and kids instead of pedalling around the Caribbean were that an option. If there are no Wags on the tour – why not? Is this policy? If so, it's the wrong one. Lads left alone with plenty of money and not much to do in the evening are likely to drink too much and get into trouble. This is hardly rocket science. It's a bit sanctimonious for the England officials to climb on a high horse and express disappointment and chagrin from such a lofty height if they have done nothing to obviate the problems of a long tour.

Before the media jump on Freddie's case, which they seem all too ready to do, they might do well to examine the tour arrangements.

Of course, this does not excuse silly behaviour from the team, but it does, perhaps, put it into perspective.

Hopefully, in addition to his public contrition, Freddie might spare a thought for the family of Bob Woolmer. An excellent coach and an excellent ambassador for cricket, he will be missed as well as mourned.

If Freddie's antics shift the focus from the human tragedy that surrounds Woolmer's death then that alone should be reason enough for him to feel guilt and need contrition.

Hopefully Freddie will learn from his peccadillo and become a better person for it. After all, it truly is only a game.

Aussies Rule!

England's Poor Run Continues

Up just in time this morning to see the news that the England cricket team have crashed to another embarrassing defeat in Australia. Aussies are revelling in it!

The latest fiasco was, perhaps, the worst of all. After a week where the Australian coach baited the English for not giving his boys enough of a contest and Freddie Flintoff and his players sounded all the right noises in reply, the result was especially disappointing – if predictable.

Bottom line. Aussie's are running rings around us.

Why? Simple. They have better players.

England should not give up hope. Just about everything that could go wrong on this tour has. Sometimes life is like that! What's important is how you deal with it.

One thing that should worry the England management is the number and severity of injuries we are picking up. Injuries are part of the game, but England seem to be getting more than most. This could, of course, just be the luck of the draw, or it could point to a lack of preparation and mismanagement.

The introduction of central contracts should mean that our elite players are fitter, more rested and more committed than ever. This is not happening. Why?

Some players are under pressure to declare themselves fit when they clearly are not. Michael Vaughan is he classic example. The team need him so badly, he is under a lot of pressure to play. Such is his influence on the team, he should be rested now that the one-day series is well and truly lost. He should not play again until the English summer. But, resting players seems to be a modern mantra. So many of the English squad are or have been resting it's sometimes difficult to see where they will get eleven out on the field! With central contracts the elite players should be playing almost every game. If they cannot; they are, by definition, not elite players! Their just injury-prone. This needs sorting out – now!

Simon Jones and Ashley Giles are long-term injuries and need to be truly fit – instead of just declaring themselves fit. Jones is essential. Giles expendable.

The loss of Petersen was a body blow. At his best, he is a match winner in one-dayers. Without him the lower order has been exposed for what they are. Ordinary. Collingwood is unconvincing in what is supposed to be his speciality – one day cricket. Strauss is having a nightmare. He has suffered enough ill-luck in the form of bad umpiring decisions to last a life time. Combined with the loss of Trescothick this has meant that England are always chasing the game.

Against the Ausssies – that is usually a recipe for disaster. So, it has proven.

Bowlers win matches, but the current crop have never had any runs to play with; therefore, it is unfair to blame them over much. Still, they have, to a man, looked very ordinary.

Fletcher is past his sell-by date. He should go gracefully. A new coach is needed to take the players to an acceptable level.

England must hang in there until most of the current crop of Aussie world-beaters retire. That's the bottom line. Don't look for much respite in the up-coming World Cup. It's very unlikely.