Chapter One
Wherein
I am persuaded that work is a good thing, I avoid being eaten by the
dogs and learn how to fry burgers
Some
time ago, I threatened to write a piece about various jobs I have had
in my illustrious and varied career.
Time
to get started before age and infirmity catch me up.
I
did once deliver the Independence Examiner for one of my cousins who
was on vacation, but I don't think that really counts. I was about
11 at the time.
Actually,
the first paying job I ever had was working for the old man. - on
the milk wagon, at 5 in the morning, in all weathers, for 50 cents a
day (if you were lucky) and a sweet-roll at the coffee shop. I was
about 13. The OM had a knack of teaching you things without really
knowing what he was doing. He was way ahead of Apollo Creed's “be
a thinker, not a stinker!”
From
this early age, he impressed upon me that manual labour was for the
birds. It didn't take long to sink in. It was hard work. And, more
importantly it impinged dreadfully on my social life. It was
Saturday's during school time and Monday to Saturday (inclusive) in
the school vacation. It was - go to Myers Dairy on Dodgion (the
loading ramp is still there, thought the building is used for
something else), wrestle crates of milk and other sundries on the
truck, go to the ice house up the road (in warm weather), chop up the
ice to keep the milk from going sour, drive about 150 miles from
down-town KC to the suburbs, hang out the door of the truck aiming
kicks at any dogs who were chasing us, drag milk bottles up to doors,
knock on doors and try to get money from customers who were dirt
poor, avoid being bitten by loose dogs, shout back at the old man in
the truck, how much did you say? and do this for a minimum of seven
hours. Get home about two or three in the afternoon – if you were
lucky.
I
did learn some other useful lessons.
I
would sit for hours in the truck practising shifting the gears.
Occasionally the old man would let me sit on his lap in the driver's
seat and steer as we were going along. Consequently, I was already
able to drive at the age of 13. This, you may think, was a good
thing, but this was not entirely so.
I
also managed to wreck a perfectly good car and remodel the side of
the truck. The OM decided that he would set up my brother-in-law,
Alan, with a milk round and I was tasked with showing him the route
to riches in the milk business. I decided that he needed to deliver
the milk and meet the customers. So, I drove the truck whilst he
carried the milk. A good result from my perspective.
Unfortunately,
the truck the OM had us using had defective power steering –
defective as in it didn't really work. You could turn a corner but
it was really difficult, especially for a weak young lad. I was
driving and swung out wide to make sure I had a good chance of making
the left turn. There was a car parked on the road. I side-swiped
it. I was about to slam it into second and put my foot down when
Alan advised that the lady who owned the car was shouting at us. I
stopped.
We
went in her house whilst she phoned Myers Dairy to report the
accident. She was upstairs on the phone when she shouted down, “What
was the name of the driver?” I looked at Alan. He looked at me.
He shouted, “Alan Austin!” Good old boy. I eventually told the
OM the truth, but not until 40 years had passed.
Not
much else eventful happened on the milk round.
I also managed to work one summer at the Kansas City Booth Manufacturing Co up in North KC. My buddy Bobby Lawless worked there and he got me in. I swept up. It was mostly Hispanic Americans who did the skilled work making beautiful booths for high-class restaurants. I wandered around all day sweeping up and learning how to swear in Spanish - a very useful skill!
I also managed to work one summer at the Kansas City Booth Manufacturing Co up in North KC. My buddy Bobby Lawless worked there and he got me in. I swept up. It was mostly Hispanic Americans who did the skilled work making beautiful booths for high-class restaurants. I wandered around all day sweeping up and learning how to swear in Spanish - a very useful skill!
By
the time I was turning 16 it was time for a real job. We were living
on East 39th Terrace not far from Noland Road. On the
South-east corner of Noland and 39th was a drive-in restaurant called
the70 Hi Drive-In. It was ahead of its time in that respect, for
Interstate 70 would not be built for a few years yet, but the owner
was clearly thinking ahead. They must have had a Help Wanted sign in
the window. I can't think how else I would have found out about this
employment opportunity. I asked for the job and I got it. This was
a big thing for me. I was very shy as a 16 year old. Among friends
I was lively and out-going, but with strangers I was shy and
reserved. Somehow I overcame this and it was a good thing too.
Reason? The school holidays had about a month to run and my Mother
calmly informed me that we had no money for school trousers. A full
blown crisis at that time. (I remember that dummy Stoner deciding
one bright day that he would wear red trousers to school. Gutsy. He
was send home. You had to wear dark trousers. Full stop.)
70
Hi was owned and operated by Sam Lerner. Almost everything I know
about the world of work I originally learned from Sam and many, many
other things as well. He was a great man.
I
was employed at the princely wage of 75 cents an hour. When I was
completely trained as a fry cook I would get a raise to 90 cents an
hour. To take account of the need to go to school we worked a
complicated shift system. One week you worked Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday and the next it would be Monday, Wednesday, Friday and
Sunday. We did day shifts when school was out and evening shifts
from four o'clock during school time. Sam did the day-time cooking
when we kids were at school and we covered the rest. My first week I
made 18 dollars. I bought school trousers and had money left over.
Happy days.
Over
the years I got jobs at 70 Hi for a multitude of friends. Most of my
oldest friends worked there at one time or another. That was Sam all
over. You only needed a vacancy and my recommendation and you were
hired.
The
Drive-In had a hierarchy of sorts. At the top were the fry cooks.
Each shift also had a bun boy. One or two ladies were at the windows
taking orders. Unlike McDonald’s everything was cooked to order.
The ladies took the order, wrote it on a slip, shouted out the order,
pinned the slip to wire at the hatch, and rang the bell, the bun boy
warmed up the buns on one side of the grill (and looked after the
deep-fat fryers where the french fries, pork tenderloins and onion
rings were cooked) the fry cook cooked the burgers and added the
various condiments (mustard, ketchup, diced onion, lettuce, tomato,
cheese as required, the buns and burgers were reunited, a toothpick
was stuck through the grease-proof paper used to wrap the burger, and
the ladies bagged it and served it. On a good day, time from order
to serve for something simple, say a cheeseburger, was about 3
minutes. Sounds simple doesn't it?
Not
quite.
During
busy periods (as Sam always said the problem with the food business
is that people only eat three times a day) the ladies would be
shouting out the orders at the hatch and the cook had to remember the
order whilst cooking them and adding more burgers as required. Also,
we catered for every taste and requirement. You might have some
burgers on the grill with no onions, some with extra onions, no
ketchup, no mustard, the possible permutations were much larger than
a simple McDonald’s menu that's for sure! All of this had to be
kept in your head. Simple when orders came in at regular intervals.
Difficult when six or seven, or more came in at once. Pressurised is
the word. One famous lunch-time session I remember cooking over 200
burgers in about two hours. That's more than one a minute. Not bad
going!
It
was not all cooking. At the start of the evening shift, before the
real rush at tea-time began, there were some unpleasant tasks to
perform. Chopping onions was the worst. First you took a bag of
onions and empty them into a large sink. Using a sharp knife you
remove the outer peel. The results were taken to the slicing machine
where they were prepared for chopping. Then the fun began. Placing
the onions on the chopping table and using two meat cleavers the
onions were chopped into small pieces, bagged and put in the cold
store for use as required.
There
were some finesse precautions you could use not to be completely
overcome by lachrymal overload. Firstly, the skins were removed
under water thereby trapping the juices. Likewise when chopping you
took a wet towel and used it as a bandanna. Fine for keeping from
crying but useless for seeing what you were doing. Result? You
chopped blind.
These
jobs were accomplished in the back room – behind the grills. Also,
there was a back door where you could sit outside on warm, quiet
evenings and down a cherry coke, or even better, a Dr Pepper. When
working, all drinks and food were free and some interesting
concoctions were invented by the staff. My favourite was a triple
cheeseburger – but I have seen deep-fried burgers (a long time
before deep-fried Mars bars) and overloaded pork tenderloins with
onion rings inserted strategically.
Sam,
bless him, used to cook fried eggs on the grill for his breakfast.
These were not on the real menu.
At
one stage, my opposite number was a kid call Ronnie Ford. He had the
shifts when I was off. Sometimes I used to wander down in the
evenings to see what was going on. We only lived about a block away
on East 39th Terrace. One evening, say about 8, we were
outside shooting the breeze when two beautiful Aberdeen Angus bulls
came wandering down 39th street. Needless to say we
decided to try and corral them – thinking that they must be worth a
reward - or perhaps a good wad of dough from a slaughter house.
Of
course, Ronnie was supposed to be working, but he just lost the plot.
We chased them behind the drive in and they set off down the valley
between 39th and Wild Woody's Bargain Basement. Observant
readers will note that this area is currently occupied by Interstate
70. I 70 was not completed until the late 60's, so there was nothing
between the 70 Hi and Wild Woody’s' but grass, scrub and a small
creek. We chased the bulls all the way to Woody's where we cornered
them in the parking lot. Some guys arrived and persuaded us (we were
just dumb kids at the time) to let them take charge of them and we
would meet up in the morning to see what was what. Needless to say
we never saw the bulls or the guys again.
All
this time Betty Rollo was left all on her own at 70 HI. We must have
been gone a good hour and a half. I wish I had a photo of the look
on her face when we got back. It could curdle milk at 100 yards.
She had tried to take the orders, cook the orders ( I don' think she
had ever done any cooking before) serve the orders, etc. all on her
own. She was, quite rightly, fuming. For some reason, I don't
believe she ever told Sam.
If
Sam has a weakness it was gambling – particularly horse racing. In
that distant, halcyon past to see a horse race you had to go to
Omaha, Nebraska. Very occasionally Sam would go to the races and
leave me or one of the other kids in charge for the whole weekend.
It never occurred to us to take advantage of his trust and faith. It
would have been unthinkable.
I
have to leave out some of the more unsavoury moments – like the
time my bun-boy Stoner, whilst sweeping up, found a ladies (and I
use the term loosely) sanitary item in the car park. It remains one
of his favourite stories.
Various
friends could easily be identified by the order being shouted out at
the hatch. Bobby Lawless and his Cheryl were regulars identified by
their order – but I can't remember what it was! Robert Taylor was
also known by his food order.
Eventually,
after some years I had worked my way up to $1.10 an hour. My sister
Ruthanne was working in an Italian restaurant up on 71 By-pass. I
was going to CMSU during the day. She said could get $1.25 to wash
dishes at the Italian, so I had to jump ship. I became a member of
the honourable company of pearl divers.
Through
some convoluted reasoning and no little soul searching on my part I
did eventually go back when Sam offered to match the money I was
getting for scraping the encrusted spaghetti sauce from pots and
pans. I jumped at it. I was there until the money ran out and I had
get a job that paid some kind of a full time wage.
Next
chapter, I work for the Southland Corporation.
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